Blowing Hot and Cold - Arya Update

Riding a lot has continued on, with a small break to road trip across the country and move the hubs home, which was... entertaining, given that COVID has made interstate travel a bit of a crapshoot, food and bathroom wise. We even had to call and make sure our hotel was open (it was not, we had to move to a different hotel). But, for all the stress, the solo horse farm experiment is over with. I am more capable and more gritty and slightly better at making lists and getting shit done. 

I mean, I still procrastinate like crazy, but I'm slightly better, at least. 

Before the roadtrip, I brought Arya into work slowly and had some really good rides with her, mixed in with a random swollen knee that has kind of... persisted, in a very mild, not enough to have the vet xray it once I saw my spring shots bill kind of way. My rules with Arya are that she doesn't get to trot unless she can walk relatively obediently, and she doesn't get to canter unless she can trot without shenanigans (at least, without major ones). She tends to get more explosive the faster she's going, and is more likely to unseat me (at least, she was, new update on that below...) so I feel like that's not too much to ask. Walk nicely. Trot nicely. Then you can canter, and please don't canter in a teacup. We had progressed to that, and I was happy to give her time off while I drove for several days. Getting back to it on the other side, I put her back into her lunge, then lunge with tack, then get on routine over the next week or so. She was naughty, and I picked a fight with her over side-passing and poles that ended up with a argumentative ride. And now we are regressing. 

Ugh.

I actually took video of her with my phone (not with my Pivo, just setting it on a fencepost) and I don't know if it's just knowing I have a camera on even if I never have to keep the footage or let it see light of day, I tend to not have good rides when I video. She was very bad - less rearing than her previous badness, but a lot more foot planting. The next ride was almost worse, because, as I babbled to her "I came to a sword fight with a sword this time" (aka I was carrying a whip) and the whip, of course, causes drama when used, and tightness when she does start moving. I got on her several days in a row, trying to end my rides on positive notes, keep the rides short and basic. After our first bad ride, my next ride was (as I suspected a sore back from a bad heat) literally getting on her to walk two circles in each direction without nonsense. This took around 20 minutes, because nonsense of course happened. The next ride, she must have caught some anxiety from me or else she's just a Velociraptor of a mare, and decided to rear, back, and fling herself sideways all the way out of the arena gate, which doesn't have an actual gate on it. And she also tried to back into the fence once, which brought back major nightmares of "what if she rears and loses her balance and kills us".

So she's lost privileges to use that end of the arena. She also went sideways over the mounting block, because #drama. 

I'm pretty burned out and fed up with her, to be honest. She's on the last few paks of that mare supplement I tried out last year, trying to weather this heat out (and decide if it's actually heat related) and I'm giving her more magnesium, which she isn't excited to eat. It's tough to get on and walk and maybe trot, and not even get full circles without her trying to either start shit (I use this term a lot, so starting shit = pushing my leg around with her shoulder, popping her shoulder, going sideways, swinging her barrel and seeing if I react and ask her to fix it, trying to stop or randomly leaping) or actually... pulling shit. I try to hard to be a stone. I don't react to her bad behavior, and praise good behavior like she just ran around Rolex. I'm being unbelievably whiny, and if you made it this far, a gold star to you. 

I don't want to give up on her, but also... she makes me want to tear my hair out.

At least Bailey is being good? 

I plan to keep working with her, and keep trying new things. We'll be moving her down in the arena, and I have a new beating stick that seems to make an impression (and it's all hers, I realized after it arrived it's too long to carry at a show at 31") and I'm still using a breastcollar and oh shit strap to keep me out of her face when she rears. I just want her to be good!!

Shameless Distractions

With a lot of my coworkers struggling with WFH, which makes doing my job relatively... slow... I have been allowing myself a certain amount of distraction. Distraction is my friend. Distraction keeps the anxiety at bay, and keeps me from thinking about the fact that my diet, habits and general idea of normal has kind of evaporated.

I have been riding.

In my last jump school (snow pictures) I really struggled with bulk under my thigh; this is probably a symptom of the saddle being too small for me. It is a 17" saddle, but has a monstrously forward flap, so it generally works. I like the blocks, I like the balance. I don't like this new awareness that I'm being stabbed in the inner thigh by a wad of nylon lined stirrup leather and buckle. In general on Bailey, I have been struggling with sitting down and putting my leg on her, and keeping it on. I feel like I get tossed loose, or come to the awareness several times during my rides that my thigh or lower leg is off the horse. In the jump saddle, I was taking my thigh off, which robs Bailey of support to the base of the fence. In my dressage saddle, I've been generally noticing a number of things; I feel like I need a different length stirrup for trot than for walk and canter. I feel like I'm constantly pulling my knee and lower thigh back and off the block and resetting behind it. I also felt like I had to reposition myself constantly. I struggled to get myself into a better position and hold it.

The jump saddle problem was my main concern; I decided, after sitting on the internet for a hot week, to solve it not only with mono leathers, but to give the Total Saddle Fit Slim Stability leathers a try. I really wanted nylon lined, not having much else in my life for a long time, but I am hoping these leathers hold up and resist stretching (several used leathers, mostly Stubben mono leathers without a nylon core, showed strong issues with stretching). The bottoms are nylon lined, but the wide stability part are not.

I excitedly slapped them on my jump saddle and ran outside to try them when they came last weekend, and I was pleased. I didn't feel like I was getting my shit jumped out of the tack on an enthusiastic and forward Bailey, and I also felt very secure in general. I didn't get bounced loose throughout spooks, bounces and some of that delightful teeth induced head tossing.

I rode the next day in my dressage saddle and had, honestly, a really shit ride. I've been using my Myler combo as bolt insurance in the ring (because that gets old SO FAST) but I still had a fussy, disconnected horse, and I felt uneven and unstable and unable to get my leg around my horse. I don't know if I can put a finger on when this started, but I think it's been a problem for some time, and has been highlighted by the new dressage saddle.

So I went out to ride yesterday feeling kind of bad about myself, and my riding. I was out of shape, I was weak. My left leg was going rogue, I was bouncing and making noise on my horse's back, and she was ignoring me, and faking contact, and I started to joke about selling her again. And then I randomly was like, what the heck. And I slapped those new leathers on my dressage saddle.

And promptly had the best ride I've had in some time. I was able to feel and influence inconsistencies in Bailey's body. I could straighten her out, and was able to focus on straightening and softening, vs sitting on her. I didn't find myself inching up my knee blocks, and the minute I got on, I had this great moment of "wow my stirrups must usually be super uneven". And that feeling went away, and my body didn't feel uneven after some time. I didn't feel like my leg was flapping from the knee down. And I felt like my thigh was able to stay on her so much better.

So, um, I am sold. I didn't think they'd make a difference for me, or at least not really much of one. But they are. And they're bringing some much needed light and feelings of competence to my riding.