Thank You

I have a huge, public thank you to send out to some wonderful bloggers, who brightened a tough week. Their kindness has completely knocked me speechless, and I don't know what else to say but 

THANK YOU

From the bottom of my heart. I mean it. I received a  package from Kaity, Nicole, Carly and Leah on Friday, and promptly broke down on my front porch in the sun when I opened it (and then promptly snapchatted about it because I'm that millennial). 

I laughed and cried when I opened the little box with the bracelet, which I haven't taken off since Friday except to shower; my parents had bought me a simpler version back when I was in high school and had just gotten her, but had overlooked the fact that Foxie's barn name was, well, Foxie. Wearing a bracelet emblazoned with "Foxie" in curly script was not something I was quite sure I wanted to do, and true to the initial impression, I never wore the thing. I'm so excited to be able to take Foxie with me wherever I go. It brings me joy to think that I can carry her with me this way, and maybe I can feel a little less guilty that I'm riding and enjoying myself and having fun when she's not here. There's still a hole in my life, but I don't want to halt my riding career because I miss her. She is the reason I can ride and train the mares who remain, and she is the reason I want to show and go after those dreams that don't have to stay dreams.

These wonderful, thoughtful bloggers also included a) A sweet note on TARDIS stationary which suits the Doctor Who Twins perfectly (have I mentioned I'm 97% sure I'm showing Arya  as "Geronimo"?) and b) a bag of horse cookies, which both mares have been enjoying with relish. There has been much happy nodding and begging for more. 

Leah, Carly, Nicole and Kaity... thank you. So much. I wish I could repay you in photos or in some way share the brightness you have brought in a dark time. 

I also haven't properly thanked all of you, who posted on this blog following Foxie's passing. I was so numb and evasive that I didn't thank you at the time, and have felt too awkward to go back and comment now. But... thank you. Feeling understood by horse people was so comforting, especially as people questioned the decision or made me doubt that I didn't do my best by her. Thank you for saying all the right things, and making me feel like I wasn't alone. 

Miss you, big girl.

In other news: 

J and I have been prepping for a show next weekend, so I am excited to begin the chronicles of "wearing the bracelet everywhere, with photo proof" by taking it to a horse show. I haven't done schooling shows since the Foxie days, so it feels right.